Is the piggy bank getting low, Al?

Fuck you.

Al Gore’s New Group Demands $15 Trillion To Fight Global Warming
A group of executives who want to fight global warming has published a new report calling for countries to spend up to $600 billion a year over the next two decades to boost green energy deployment and energy efficiency equipment.

The Energy Transitions Commission’s (ETC) report claims “additional investments of around $300-$600 billion per annum do not pose a major macroeconomic challenge,” which they say will help the world meet the goals laid out in the Paris agreement.

It would far more effective and economical to launch Gore into low Earth orbit where he can perpetually bathe the planet in his cooling rays.

What do you mean “mistakenly”?

Popular Antivirus Program Mistakenly IDs Windows as Threat, Creating Chaos
An antivirus service used by tens of thousands of businesses and millions of home users shut down an untold number of computers around the world Monday after it mistakenly identified core parts of Microsoft Windows as threats, the company confirmed.

Webroot Inc. of Broomfield, Colorado, didn’t immediately respond to a request for comment. But it confirmed on its support forum for customers that it issued an updated detection rule that “identified false positives” for critical Windows operating files Monday afternoon, resulting in those files’ being “quarantined” and inaccessible to Windows.

On the one hand, perhaps a departing employee left a littyle gift for Webroot.

On the other hand… Frankly, MicroSnoop’s “telemetry” and other file snooping very likely triggered a heuristic scan alarm.

Windows is malware, IMNSHO.

There goes their carbon footprint

Massive Power Outage In San Francisco Follows PG&E Substation Fire
“Insulation is still smoldering,” said a San Francisco Fire Department spokesman of the substation fire. “We are trying to cool it, but we need to bring in our CO2 unit to assist us. We have been using dry chemicals to put out the flames, but it’s still hot and keeps reigniting.”

But… but… This is green California. Shouldn’t they file environmental impact statements with the CARB and EPA before releasing that poisonous, Gaia-cooking, nasty CO2?

I’m sure they might get approval in a few months, if the greenweenies don’t file too many lawsuits blocking the release.

Mr. Burson is now seeking employment with someone who has never heard of the Internet

Starbucks barista has complete meltdown over new Unicorn Frappuccino
A Starbucks barista has taken to social media hoping to make orders for the coffee chain’s much buzzed about Unicorn Frappuccino disappear.

Job tip: Don’t bitch to the entire world about your employer’s popular product because it’s too much work for you.

Worst day of his life. Sticky hands. Never worked so hard. So stressed.

Try setting up a radar-homing missile navigation beacon in a war zone. And hunkering down when you hear missiles have launched. Try digging eleven miles of ditches in the desert. And I’ve washed off worst things than sugary syrup from my hands. Things that called for soap, then bleach, then hydrogen peroxide, then alcohol. Engine grime is nothing. Sugar?

Stress? Deal with multiple death threats from convicted violent felons.

Suck it up, buttercup.

At this point, Burson’s best bet for re-employment is to claim ADA protection because he’s a mentally under-developed idiot.

The video is here, too (F******k).