Deadly Assault Dog

But is it highly concealable (I wanna see a gangbanger stuff one of those into his pants)?

Man: Officer shot my dog while police chased neighbor
Davis is accused of picking up the dog, with only two feet touching the ground and ordering the dog to attack the police officer.

Witnesses say the dog was tied up, tried to run from the cop when he shot at the accused perp, and ran out of chain.

” A police spokesman said the officer, in fear of his life,peed his pink lacey panties shot the dog.”

The cops claim no complaint has been filed about the cowardly dog shooting, probably because Mr. Alexander is afraid of being shot himself, as cops find credible accusations against themselves frightening.


* That’s in reference to this:

deadly-assault-pen-600

Licensing

So I decided to sell my truck to a neighbor. We went down to the town hall and applied for a license to sign a contract, did the blood test thing…

Oh. Wait. No, we didn’t. That kind of thing doesn’t need to be licensed by the state. -whew-

Anyway, after that I went to the big box store to buy a bike for transportation. That being an implied purchase contract, me and the Wally World manager arranged to go get our bike purchase contract…

Oh. Wait. No, we didn’t. That kind of thing doesn’t need to be licensed by the state. -whew-

I got a job offer to do another book cover design. We worked up the contract, and I told the client we’d have to get a contract license. He said he’d never heard of such a thing. Funny; so did the clerk’s office. Again. (I think they’re getting tired of seeing me.)

Well, I’ve been more interested in TV lately, so I decided on a long-term satellite contract to get a good price. That’s an on-going commitment, so I knew it would require a contract. Down to town hall again.

They laughed at my naive ass. How was I to know?

Then there was the headhunter looking for a telecom tech. I’ll bet you’re seeing where that’s going. I didn’t.

Turns out you don’t need a license for regular employment either. Shoot, I was going to be responsible for millions of bucks of equipment and services for thousands of people; you’d think that would be regulated. They regulate the heck out of everything else.

So I finally learned my lesson. We actually live in a libertarian utopia where the state does not license private contracts between consenting adults. I was surprised but pleased to discover that. That was good to know when I got the marriage proposal from the lovely lady. We headed over to her church and asked the minister to marry us.

He asked to see our license. WTF? Turns out that the most private contractual agreement between two private individuals frickin’ does require a license. I pointed out that both of us were the same race, so the state shouldn’t be worried about a marriage license for us.

Wrong. Apparently we have to be state-certified and approved non-interracial, or something. But the Rev helpfully mentioned that we could save some bucks on the license itself if we show the town clerk a certificate of having completed a state-approved premarital education program. Conducted by a licensed professional.

The hell? I figured we’d just make it a common-law marriage; we don’t need Big Brother (or the Rev) sharing our bed.

Turns out common-law marriages are out, too. Something about needing state certification for tax purposes. Yeah, they tax that, too; more or less. Subject to change depending on the mood of whatever party controls the government this year.

OK, all kidding aside, I hope you’ve figured out that this is about last week’s SCROTUM ruling on same sex marriage. In case you were fortunate enough to miss it all, the short form is that the majority ruled that you have to marry someone of the same sex by July 31st states have to issue marriage licenses to same sex couples and recognize SSMs licensed by other states, which resulted in fire, famine, plague, EMP, the Zombie Apocalypse, the end of civilization as we know, lambs banging lions, sexually insecure guys losing their wives to pretty lesbians down the street pretty much nothing.

Which was a bad call. I don’t give a damn who marries who (or how many). I don’t have a dog in that fight; never met a guy I wanted to marry, and I never convinced any woman to marry me. At 54, I’ve given up and I’m not even in the dating game any more. But

This was the perfect opportunity for SCROTUM to note that their alleged Constitution doesn’t actually give the feds any supposed power over marriage (a purely personal arrangement) at all. What the cross-dressing dipsticks should have ruled is that state licensing of any marriage is a perpetuation of evil eugenics, based in the worst forms of racism, and that all such licensing violates the the 14th Amendment regarding due process and equal protection.*

Problem solved. Except for the Christians who do want to impose their own versions of Sharia law. That would be fine if they limited it to themselves. But what about folks who aren’t adherents to their particular version(s) of faith-based tomfoolery? Well, that would be the “impose their beliefs on others” part. When do I get to impose my beliefs in the sanctity of the individual, MYOB, and KYFHO on them?

Could be worse, I suppose. We could be under said sharīʿah law, where the state doesn’t make you get permission. Instead, we have a separation of chuch and state where the Christian denominations don’t get to impose their personal religious standards on eve… ry… one… else. Oh.**


* I could be missing something. Would the legal eagles educate me concerning any other private contract that requires a license for that contract? I don’t mean professional licensing like a medical license to practice law in general, but a specific license between said doc and a particular patient just to be in that specific physician/patient relationship. Ditto lawyer/client, etc. And while the design/construction of a house may require permits and code inspections, the contract between the builder and prospective homeowner does not.

** That is included for ironic contrast. I don’t approve of a system that permits involuntary marriage, marriage of those too young to give informed consent, and sex with a little girl so long as it doesn’t physically damage her (no doubt that little restriction was only included to prevent damaging broodstock — property — rather than any benevolent ideals about defending children).

David Codrea: Good news for once

Examiner made the mistake of firing David Codrea. Personally, David was pretty much the only reason I would knowingly click an Examiner link; the site sucks in more ways than I want to bother listing here.

Happily:

TTAG Announcement:
BREAKING: David Codrea Leaves Examiner for The Truth About Guns

I’ll be honest. TTAG hasn’t been on my regular reading list. But I would still hit it far more often than I would Examiner. And now I’ll be there a whole lot more.

The Truth About Guns. Bookmark it.

Pelosi mispoke

We have to pass The Supreme Court has to make it up so you’ll know what’s in it.” FIFY, bitch. Continuing my rant…

Roberts:
Didn’t say the subsidy restriction was unconstitutional.
Didn’t say the language was ambiguous.
Didn’t say the provision was inconsistent with what Congress chose to put in the law.

He did say that the restriction was incompatible with what Obama wanted.*

Since Barrycade already likes EO and secret directives, let’s save some time and money: disband Congress and the Judicial branch officially. What’s another revolution or two?


* But then, this is the “conservative” justice who ruled that the mandate that the Dems, Obummer Admin, and the GAO all claimed was not a tax…

was a tax, and therefore constitutional.

It’s getting pretty hard to discount those theories that the Administration is blackmailing Roberts.

I mean… Come on. Enough Jay Carney finally got so embarrassed by the crap that Barrycade made him say that he resigned.

“In this instance, the context and structure of the act compel us to depart from what would otherwise be the most natural reading of the pertinent statutory phrase.”
– Chief Cross-dressing Idiot John G. Roberts Jr.

If you’re having trouble parsing that out: “The language of the law was perfectly clear that these subsidies are illegal — that being one of the few points actually debated on the floor and settled before passage — that we have to pretend that the President’s (please don’t take my kid, sir) megalomaniacal desires (and that damned blackmail evidence) over-ride the plain law and the Constitution (which I haven’t used for anything but bird cage lining for years anyway).”

Your government at work

A couple of tidbits.

OPM data breach could total 32 million Americans
Office of Personnel Management Director Katherine Archuleta said her investigation isn’t complete so she can’t say whether all 32 million current and former federal employees were affected by the breach, which happened in 2014 but wasn’t discovered until this year.

“I will not give a number,” Ms. Archuleta retorted.

Can’t, or won’t? That’s potentially 10% of the entire — born/naturalized citizen, resident alien, and “undocumented” alien; man, woman, other, cis-miscellaneous, child — population of the entirely country. And she won’t limit herself to even that number.

Aren’t you glad the gov makes you get REAL ID, register firearms purchases, and otherwise databases you?

Don’t worry, though. It isn’t as though… wait…

Oh. All that data is out in the wild.

And in the those-who-will-not-learn-from-the-past [Prohibition] department:

Kids Create Salt Black Markets in Cafeterias Due to Michelle Obama’s Lunch Rules
“Perhaps the most colorful example in my district is that students have been caught bringing–and even selling–salt, pepper, and sugar in school to add taste to perceived bland and tasteless cafeteria food,” said John S. Payne, the president of Blackford County School Board of Trustees in Hartford City, Indiana.

Ah! Good little black marketeering entrepreneurs. There’s hope for America yet.

See? Government can create jobs.

I can fix that.

Seems the feds want to diversify the country. No prob.

Let's not forget our first Jewish President.*
Let’s not forget our first Jewish President.*

In a world where you are whatever you think you are, regardless of verifiable external, physical, objective reality, all they need to do is take that list of 60-odd race variants from the American Community Survey, divide the US population equally among them, then randomly assign everyone in the country a “race” by lottery.

Then you do the same with “religion”.

The real fun comes when we hand out the list of 11-12 — and counting — “sexual orientations. I can’t wait until Al Sharpton discovers he’s a White Jewish Lesbian…

And Bill Clinton (our first black president) is turned on by it.

Welcome to America, Land of the Free The Jerk


* You did hear that one; right?
Added: And Michelle Antoinette is the first Muslim First Lady, which — even aside from the usual conspiracist stuff — must make for an interesting home life for the Obamas.