Neighbor Kills Trespasser

Trespasser Killed: Police question use of deadly force
Questions are being raised by the recent killing of an alleged trespasser by a suspicious neighbor of a local homeowner.

Smedley Burnside claims that the intruder jumped a fence and approached his next door neighbor’s home, prompting fears that he might have a bomb and necessitating his summary execution.

“Seriously,” he explained, “what else could I do? Bob next door has pissed off a lot of people. I figured someone was finally out to get him. What if he was home, or his wife or kids? A vest bomb could have taken them all out.”

According to a family spokesman, Bob Niedermeyer was at work as usual at the time, while his children were at school. Mrs. Niedermeyer was located at a nearby grocery store

Police have identified the unarmed intruder as a UPS driver attempting to deliver a signature-required package.

Oh. Wait. That’s not right. It was the White House, where the Imperial Family wasn’t present, and effing morons like Ronald Kessler, CBS plastichead Major Garret, and hyper-paranoiac Rep. Peter King only think the Secret Service should have killed a trespasser just on irrational suspicion, something that would be illegal for you or me.

Wait. I thought folks like that disapproved of the ‘Castle Doctrine’ and ‘Stand Your Ground’.

I can hardly wait for the first case of a private citizen invoking this example to justify offing an inconvenient trespasser. Sort of like Joe Biden’s reckless and illegal shotgun defense advice.

Funny how the rules change when it’s the ruler’s castle at imaginary risk.


3 thoughts on “Neighbor Kills Trespasser

  1. mamaliberty2014 September 23, 2014 / 5:05 pm

    Indeed… some people are more equal than others.

    Interesting (to me anyway) personal story connected to this (ok, tenuously perhaps)…

    A few days ago I noticed that some children (I presume) had dragged some chunks of a swing set and boards onto my property to build a tree fort in some cedar trees on the backside of the bluffs. They had to haul all that through three strands of barbed wire, so it’s no good saying they didn’t know they were leaving their own yard. The thing isn’t visible from my house at all (I have to walk through the horse pasture to the edge of the bluffs at just that point to see it), but probably can be seen from the house just below the bluffs where, again I assume, the children came from. They have perfectly adequate trees of their own, mind you.

    Anyway, I was concerned about liability if they should get hurt and called the sheriff’s office. (No, not 911 – they would have laughed at me.) The sheriff’s deputy called me back and I described the thing to him and we discussed my situation and discomfort with having the kids on my place where I could not see them. I have a horse out there who is not particularly friendly either. And I have been known to go out shooting rabbits on that back 40. Now I won’t feel I can do that without making a major hunt for the little rug rats. sigh

    So, what did the sheriff do? He said he would record the complaint just in case, but advised me that the best thing to do would be to put a “no trespassing” sign on the fence. Yep, that’s it. Since I couldn’t give him a name of who was trespassing, he didn’t think he could do much.

    Well, I can’t get down there to put anything on the fence, though I did buy a sign and will have someone mount it as soon as I can. I’ll also have them haul all that junk out of there.

    I will drive down there and attempt to talk to the parents as soon as I can. Most times there is nobody home when I drive past, but I can see kid’s toys in the yard. Eventually, I’ll get lucky. What they say or do about it is anyone’s guess… but that’s the way it is out here in the flyover country. 🙂


    • bearbussjaeger September 23, 2014 / 5:16 pm

      You should shoot ’em. What if they’re an ISIS cell who jumped your fence to construct a vest bomb factory, and Obama drops by to visit you?

      You never know.


      • mamaliberty2014 September 24, 2014 / 6:28 am

        It will be interesting to see what the parents say – if I can ever get to see them. 🙂


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