1. Ask [clerk] for requirements for submitting document.
2. Receive vague spec sheet diagram that sort of says what they need.
3. Follow diagram exactly.
4. Get told that document is wrong because [data not in spec sheet, that contradicts spec sheet].
5. Ask for specific requirements again. Very, very specifically.
6. Get told to just follow diagram and it will be fine.
7. Point out that I did, and [same customer rep] said it’s wrong because [conflicting secret instruction]. Ask again, even more specifically, exactly what they need. Ask to speak to [shop worker actually doing the job] if [same clerk] doesn’t understand.
I’ve prepared four different versions of [the job], based on all possible permutations of the spec’d and super secret requirements. I’m waiting for [clerk] to tell me that – most likely – some new fifth version is what they need.
I expect to conduct comparative impact strength testing of my skull and my desktop tomorrow. Based on past experience, my skull will win. Fortunately, I have another desk.
9.”If the [work] doesn’t [details], then [do such and such].” But [work] does [details]. So I flipped a coin, picked one of the prepped docs and uploaded it. Theoretically, this one was accepted, but actually I expect to hear otherwise Monday.
On the off chance that it does pass, at least I’ll finally have the information I need to build a template to avoid this insanity next time. Assuming there is a next time.
Got the proofs. The [document] template they gave me was wrong. Yet another fix. Must resist urge to strangle.