UberProOblateSpheroid News

I am reliably informed by every frickin’ authorized lamestream urinalism outlet in America Open Borders Melting Pot Land this morning that the New UK SeaPats, Inc™, playing in the GovSubsidy MegaStadium, defeated the WA PolCorrectors, LLC® due to a bad hostile merger call by the board of directors, in a brilliant display of mercantilist pseudocompetition viewed by millions on their telescreens (confirmed by approved ‘screen monitoring agencies).

Whoo hoo! Go, Company! My company stock will be skyrocketing this morni…

Oh.

Wait.

Maybe I’ll get the game ball one of the 108 corporately-sponsored Official National Shakedown League, Inc® game balls.

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