More attractive? Well, I’m f#(ked.

Via Jerry Doyle:
9 Scientifically Proven Ways to Appear More Attractive

  • Be Funny
    (my “sense of humor” is bitter, cynical, and sarcastic; damn)
  • Surround Yourself with Friends
    (I’m mildly autistic; are you effin’ kidding me?)
  • Skip the Small Talk
    (true; I don’t do small talk)
  • Be a Leader
    (f#(k that)
  • Smile More
    (give me more reasons to smile)
  • Own a Dog
    (I like cats)
  • Be Nice
    (that I am… though most people don’t see it)
  • Live in a High-Status Spot
    (gimme money and I’ll consider it)
  • Play Good Music
    (I can barely whistle well)

I guess some of us just weren’t meant to breed.


(I’ve never met Doyle in person, though we have corresponded via email a couple of times. I’m pretty sure I’d like him in the real world.)

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