Drek Fone; or, “Why one should stop digging”

RECAP: I moved. I wanted to change my phone number to a local number. Trac Fone can’t figure out how. (TL;DR: Their online automated system doesn’t work. Their 800 line customer abuse line is manned by Indian call center rejects. Their email system is based on a TRS-80 Model 1 that will never, ever pass a Turing test.)

I’ve actually been trying to change this number for going on 6 weeks. It became a challenge. Then a joke. Yesterday, I agreed to let them call me and scheduled a time.

They forgot to call.

This morning, they sent an email claiming to have changed my number anyway. They didn’t; so some poor SOB somewhere in the world is wondering why he suddenly has to dial long distance for “local” calls. Boy, is he gonna have fun trying to get that fixed.

I sent them an email noting their error.

But Drek Fone never heard the advice about ceasing excavation upon the realization that one is in a hole. They grabbed a pickaxe to pound their further down through bedrock.

This evening…

We understand your preference to be communicated through e-mail; thus, we would like to inform you that your phone number was not change yet because you need to verify your account security question first. As we mentioned on our previous response that in order for us to process your request for changing your phone number to your new zip code 31558, you need to provide the answer for your security question asking for your father’s middle name. Please respond to this e-mail CorporateOffice@tracfone.com with your contact number and preferred time for a callback.

Yep, they failed to note in the chain of emails in that very message their own claim to have already changed the number. But then, they forgot that I already gave them all that information, most of it repeatedly.

I did… um, “succeed” in getting them to stop calling me by my first name (as if we’re friends) even as they sign their own missives anonymously as “TracFone Wireless.”

Now they just address emails to “Bussjaeger.”

ADDED: Ah, this may explain things. What with paying the FTC $40 megabucks for deceptive practices and not being able to cheat customers on bogus “unlimited” data plans anymore, they had to cut expenses by firing all their humans. I probably really have corresponding with TRS-80 Model 1 they found dumpster diving.

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