Original and complete saga (kept up to date).
Update 6, 6/10/15: I’m just having fun with them now. I’ll never get the number fixed, so I’m treating them as Nigerian scammers.
Got the now-routine morning Drek Fone email. They’re still following the same basic template, with some extras today:
Thank you for your interest in TracFone Wireless. We are responding to your recent inquiry.
Please understand that we will need to validate the information on your account. For security reasons, we want to ensure the changes being requested is done for the owner of the phone. Please provide us with the answer to the security question provided below:
Security Question: What is your father’s middle name?
If you are unable to validate the answer of the security question on your account, we will need you to verify additional information. Please verify one of the items listed below:
• Activation ZIP code
• Date of Birth
• Month/year of initial activation
• Other phone numbers on the account
• Last 4 digits of Credit Card on the account
• Last redemption date
• Last redemption total amount paid
You may contact us via Chat or contact one of our customer care representatives at 1-866-806-1840 and enter the reference PIN 032700. The reference PIN is valid for two weeks. For your convenience, our representatives are available Monday-Sunday from 8:00 AM to 11:45 PM EST.
Thank you for being a TracFone Wireless customer. We appreciate your business.
Seriously, this shit looks like a Nigerian phishing attempt. Zip code? Date of birth? Credit card? Other phone numbers? The funny part is, I never opened an account for this phone. I did have one from several years ago for another phone (gave up that phone and number years back, too), but I went phoneless for a while before I bought another Trac Fone and airtime with cash. So the “account” they’re apparently looking at doesn’t even have anything to do with my phone.
But, being in a sarcastically whimsical moody this morning (a common condition), I replied. This time, instead of just replying above the quotes, I embedded. That’s because I’m pretty sure these fools are having trouble maintaining context.
Dear Effing Moron,
On 06/10/2015 08:44 AM, TracFone Customer Service wrote:
> Dear Carl,
That’s “Mr. Bussjaeger, sir” to you anonymous twits.
> Please understand that we will need to validate the information on your
> account. For security reasons, we want to ensure the changes being
> requested is done for the owner of the phone. Please provide us with the
> answer to the security question provided below:
> Security Question: What is your father’s middle name?
Please understand that I have answered that question repeatedly. Why, I even gave you a time to call me to work this out (as YOU requested), and you failed to call. Honestly, I no longer believe there’s anyone at Trac Fone capable of completing this task; I’m just in it for the humor value now. Although — should I win the lottery, manna fall from the skies, US government revert to constitutional principles, Jews and Arabs get along — and you actually fix my problem I’d be pleased.
> You may contact us via Chat
No. I can’t. As I’ve also told you idiots repeatedly.
> or contact one of our customer care
> representatives at 1-866-806-1840 and enter the reference PIN 032700.
Last time I called you, you wasted 47 minutes, 21 seconds of my airtime, and were completely unable to accomplish anything, and wrapped up by demanding a non-Trac Fone number that I don’t have. Coincidentally, I’ve told you _this_ repeatedly, too. And I still want that airtime back.
> The reference PIN is valid for two weeks. For your convenience, our
> representatives are available Monday-Sunday from 8:00 AM to 11:45 PM
Sorry, brain dead reps who can’t even log into an account don’t count as “available.” I’ll give you points for morbid humor, though.
> Thank you for being a TracFone Wireless customer. We appreciate your business.
Really? When did that happen? So far, you’ve treated me like dirt to be farmed. Or is it that you appreciate still having a customer after the $40,000,000 FTC fine and the end of your “unlimited data plan” ripoff?
Just out of curiosity: Yesterday morning, one of you claimed to have changed my number already (you didn’t); did you ever figure out whose phone number you actually screwed up? And have you given that customer a projected year in which you’ll pretend to have fixed the problem?
In case you’re confused about your “progress” on this issue, you can keep up to date here:
Carl “Bear” Bussjaeger
Author: Net Assets, Bargaining Position, The Anarchy Belt, and more
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