Works for me

How To Beat the DOJ Lawsuit
Rush Limbaugh has the legal argument in hand that should allow North Carolina to defeat the Department of Justice lawsuit overturning that state’s law banning transgendered use of ladies’ public bathrooms.

The solution here might be that the North Carolina governor could say that we don’t identify as North Carolina anymore, and therefore your lawsuit against us is irrelevant. We’re not North Carolina. We don’t identify that way, as long as your lawsuit — I mean, it’s absurd here! What do you mean, the way I want to present one day? So North Carolina, I say just turn it right around, “You know what, we do not identify as North Carolina for the length of your suit.”

Once we consider the advantages of the Feddies’ position that delusions induced by mental illness trump physical reality, lots of options open up.

Delinquent on fed taxes? “I’m not John Smith. I identify as Lolita McMuff now, and that tax bill isn’t mine.”

Got a criminal conviction that bars you from some office? “Barry Charles Laughton, Jr.?” Nah, I’m Stacie Laughton now.”

Or maybe you just always wanted to be a 6’5″ Chinese woman.

Personally, I think this would an excellent time for North Carolina to realize that they identify as an independent nation. The United States has bought that argument before. Even encouraged it in advance. They could fund it by identifying as George Soros and writing checks.

It ain’t identity theft if you identify as what/whoever. Apparently.