This would be about the only thing White House “We The People” petitions are good for: tweaking the assholes.
To Suppress the Unlawful Rebellion in Certain Western States
At this writing, two states — California and Oregon — have begun the process of attempting to secede from the United States of America because they are in total disagreement with the nation’s Constitutional electoral process.
In accordance with precedents established in the 19th century we demand that the federal government dispatch troops to put down this rebellion, by force of arms if necessary. Although, frankly, I would settle (and prefer) that all federal monies be cut off from California and Oregon, along with all out-of-state water and electricity.
Of course this is satirical. Everyone knows that I’ve actually advocated EXPELLING The Peoples’ Pacifistic Republik of Kalifornia from the Union for years.