For fuck’s sake.
7 Prince George’s County elementary students cut wrists at school, officials say
Seven students at an elementary school in Prince George’s County cut their wrists at school using blades from pencil sharpeners, according to officials.
Officials announced a ban on pencil sharpeners at the school in a message sent to parents on March 29 and said they worked to contact the families of students involved over spring break, which was between April 2 and April 6.
While the freaking hell can’t we just ban idiots?
Oh, no. It can’t be the self-mutilating children. It can’t be the toxic school environment. It can only be…
Look! I have an assault pencil sharpener.
And a deadly full auto sharpener; electrically-driven just like a minigun.
Please hit my tip jar. Screw the truck repairs. I need more popcorn.