Fairfax, VA (RAG) – NRA spokeswoman Huma Aikiddin expressed shock and disappointment that the ATF ruled bump-fire stocks are banned machineguns under the National Firearms Act, after the NRA asked the ATF to regulate them under the NFA.
“We’re dumbfounded,” Aikiddin stated. “Who knew they’d look at our Firearms Owners Protection Act compromise, which bans manufacture or importation of machineguns for civilians after May 1986, and not grandfather 520,000 newly manufactured machineguns? I mean, the ATF would enforce a decades old gun control law?”
Aikiddin dismissed charges that the NRA helped set the stage for decades of Second Amendment infringements when they compromised on the National Firearms Act of 1934, by accepting that militias protected by the Second Amendment have no right to militia grade weapons.
She added, “While we’re disappointed in this decision, we see no reason to challenge the lies and misleading claims in the rule. After all, it isn’t as though the ATF will notice that any semiautomatic firearm is easily converted to a machinegun with a bump-fire stock, and apply their own open-bolt semi-auto ban precedent, nor the ruling making semi-auto AR-15s which could accept an M-16 trigger group into machineguns.”
“It’s not as though they’ll retroactively ban Browning .22 Semiautomatic Rifles, and all other semiautos, like they’re machineguns, just because they could be easily converted.” Huma Aikiddin added, “But just in case, we’re prepping fundraising mailers to get the cash Wayne… I mean, we need to fight the mess we created. You know, like the Columbus assault weapon ban we helped draft. Or the time we killed constitutional carry in New Hampshire.”
When asked about the NRA’s position on “red flag” extreme risk protection orders, another controversial gun control proposal the NRA has supported, Aikiddin whined, “No one who isn’t potentially thinking about doing something, but hasn’t, has anything to fear from red flag laws. And we think that balancing PRE-crime infringements of rights with POST due process offers legal symmetry.”
“What could go wrong?” she chirped. “But we can raise money on that, too.”
This Is Satire. While this does illustrate NRA… thinking, to the best of my knowledge the NRA has no spokesperson named Huma Aikiddin.
Permission is granted to re-publish this provided it is credited to Carl “Bear” Bussjaeger, and a link to http://www.bussjaeger.org is used.