Assuming that’s true…

…despite the moving mouth on a politician…

Schiff Claims House Intel Republicans ‘Secretly Altered’ Spy Memo
California Rep. Adam Schiff claimed Wednesday that Republicans on the House Intelligence Committee altered a controversial surveillance memo after the panel voted earlier this week to release the document to the public.

…now you know how we feel when you Congressional motherfuckers change bills — post House and Senate votes — in markup. What can I say, I guess you had to vote on it, so you could find out what would be in it. What difference does it make?

Dear Creeps,

[Sent to Representatives Paul Ryan and Buddy Carter; and Senators Mitch McConnell, David Perdue, and Johnny Isakson.]

I am horrified.

I am horrified that _any_ elected official would even momentarily contemplate

1. Implementing universal background checks (better called universal preemptively prove your innocence checks) in response to terrorists who passed background checks (the San Bernardino shooter purchased his own guns, except for what he had a friend buy because he didn’t want anyone to notice how many he was acquiring; the Fort Hood shooter had purchased his firearm _and_ held a security clearance; the Orlando lunatic passed multiple background checks).

2. Implementing background checks in response to a lunatic who murdered his own mother to steal her guns. How anyone with two neurons to rub together would think an under-age murder would wait for his NICS check to process boggles my _rational_ mind.

3. Adding those listed in _investigative_ terror databases to the prohibited persons list. Those would be the same databases feeding the selectee/no-fly lists which have enabled the TSA to catch exactly zero terrorists. On the bright side, notoriously anti-rights Sen. Kennedy was on the no-fly list (along with lesbians, nuns, reporters, and at least one inconvenient wife of an immigration officer who wanted to be rid of her), so maybe all the senators or representatives stupid enough to vote for such thing will find themselves bereft of their own rights.

4. That apparently everyone in DC is totally ignorant of the definition of “infringe,” and none of you have dictionaries.

5. That your collective ignorance of the Second Amendment extends to the Fourth and Fifth Amendments.

6.And that seemingly none of you bothered to read that pesky Constitution before taking oath to uphold it.

In short, I am horrified that Congress is packed with ignorant, evil assholes of Soviet proportion, who find due process inconvenient.

I am ashamed that this country elects dumbasses who think shrouds are shoulder things that go up, Barretts fire heat-seeking bullets, the MCX is an AR-15, are incapable of differentiating between a clip and a magazine, that AR-pattern semi-automatic rifles are assault rifles, and that the .223 Remington/5.56 NATO — deemed too wimpy for deer hunting in many jurisdictions — is insanely powerful and lethal.

I am angered that such stupid people would use that ignorance to impose preemptive violations of human/civil rights on those who did not commit crimes like Sandy Hook, Aurora, or Orlando.

But I simply accept it as par for the course that you collective fools haven’t figured out that not only are criminals called that because they commit crimes like violating your little firearms rules, but that under HAYNES they cannot be required to self-incriminate by participating in background checks.

Perhaps by now you — or more likely a semi-literate staffer tasked with keeping you isolated from your irate constituents’ opinions –are thinking, “Oh, no; that isn’t me. I’m one of the good guys. I don’t do that.”

Great. PROVE IT. Introduce an Article I, Section 5, clause 2 bill of expulsion for those offensive oathbreakers who DO those things. Push it to a vote. Prove you at least _tried_. Until then, you are — at best — a morally bankrupt enabler, condoning those actions.

Yes, I know it doesn’t do anything but amuse functionally illiterate staffers, and get me on lists.

Clearly Ryan hasn’t been keeping up with the EPA

Speaker Ryan on mission to clean house, from the ground up
The Wisconsin Republican, who is known for sleeping in his office at night when he’s in Washington, mentions “ozone machines” that apparently “can detoxify the environment.”

Maybe someone should mention this to the EPA, which has a differing opinion on ozone. Funnny how this politically aware congresscritter missed that.

Maybe Congress exempted itself from that one, too.