That’s understandable…

…when you look at it from their POV.

New York politicians propose new law that would force Procter & Gamble to stop making Tide Pods that look like candy
Two New York politicians are calling for a new state law that, if passed, would force Procter & Gamble to make Tide pods look less appetising, and follows nationwide disgust at the Tide Pod Challenge.

State Senator Brad Hoylman and Assemblywoman Aravella Simotas, both New York City Democrats, announced their proposal on Tuesday – in the hopes the new law would discourage people from eating the laundry detergent pods.

Bea in mind that P&G has already changed the packaging to keep innocent little — “if it’s bright it must be candy” — children from eating the things. This is to protect “Tide Pod Challengees,” most of whom seem to be young adults. Who should know better. They’re eating Tide Pods because they know it’s laundry detergent.

In short, this proposed law is intended to protect the Democrat voter base from themselves. Mid-terms are going to be scary enough for the Ds without losing live Dimwit voters. Personally, I’m all in favor of the “Challenge.” “Think of it as evolution in actions.”

We don’t need chlorine in the gene pool. We have Tide.

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Sore Winners?

Shee-it. What would they have done if the Eagles lost?

Fires, mayhem, insane trust falls in Philly after Super Bowl win

On the bright side, someone discovered a use for Bud Light.

I can’t wait for the conversation between the city and the EPA over that hydraulic fluid they sloshed around.

Somebody said you robbed a bank.

Over at Vin Suprynowicz’s blog, I alluded to a personal encounter with the FBI. He invited me to elaborate. As it happens, I wrote about on an old, old website I used at the time. I did a little searching and found the original file, now reprinted here.


“Somebody said you robbed a bank.”

By Carl Bussjaeger, 1997

So there I am, spending my lunch hour sitting on a bench at Kiener Plaza, just like so any other downtown workers.

But that’s when things got… different.

First, a bicycle cop rode up. He approached me and said, “Somebody said you robbed a bank.” Naturally, this came as something of a surprise to me. He decided that he needed to search me for weapons. Given my usual proclivities, this could have been a problem- while I wasn’t carrying a gun, I wasn’t completely unarmed either.

Not that it mattered. It was one of the worst body searches I’ve ever seen. He didn’t find anything. Then he went for the record in the stupid question category; “So, have you robbed any banks lately?” My reply- “No, I haven’t robbed any banks.”

While that went on, more cops arrived. Between bicyclists, patrol cars, and unmarked cars, they had 12 cops on the scene. Now things got really stupid.

This is Kiener Plaza, where half the downtown Saint Louis work force spends their lunch hour. If the weather is nice (as it was that day), people come out to eat, and to enjoy the sun and scenery. So there were plenty of people relaxing just like me.

So what does the cop ask? “What are you doing out here?” I looked at him as if he were the idiot he appeared to be and answered, “Sitting.” I gestured all around at the other people doing likewise.

“Oh,” he said.

At this point, the detective told me that I matched the description of a bank robber in a case he is investigating. He then called back to the station on his radio to get the description. Brilliant. The answer came back, “Caucasian, brown hair, 6 feet tall, 200 pounds, mid twenties, wearing a blue ball cap.” Hearing this, a uniformed cop muttered, “Damn, that’s half the guys in Saint Louis.”

So, lessee… I’m caucasian, brown hair, 6 feet. I was wearing a blue cap, emblazoned with my company’s logo and name in large white letters (remember this hat). But I’m afraid my mid-20s were a good ten years ago. And 200 pounds was about 20 pounds ago, darn it.

I’m obviously a perfect match with their suspect. Next, the detective tried to figure out my name. I’m accustomed to mispronunciations, but this…

He read my driver’s license and said, “So, Mr Jagger…” Reading skills evidently aren’t high on the list of required job skills for Saint Louis PD detectives.

“That’s Bussjaeger,” I corrected.

“Oh, Jagger,” he said.

“No, Bush-yager,” I again corrected, giving him the pronunciation slowly and clearly.

“Okay, then, Mr Yager…”

Bush-Yager,” I said again. “Carl Bussjaeger.”

“Oh. Well, Mr Bussjagger…”

Freaking idiot. From there we went through the usual who are you, where do you live, work, park, et cetera.

Then his partner came over and asked the same questions. This guy remembered to write down the answers, though.

Eventually, someone who introduced himself as an FBI agent arrived. “Mr Bussjagger, I’d like to thank you for having to patience to wait here for me…”

I presented him with my best sarcastically dumbfounded expression and said, “Yeah,
right. Like I had a choice.” I gestured at the encircling police. “I’m surrounded by cops.”

“Oh.” He looked puzzled. Then he began questioning me. Not “Where were you on…” or “Can you account for your whereabouts on…” He wanted to know where I lived, worked, parked, et cetera. Again. So I told him. Again.

Work was a problem. He couldn’t seem to get the company name straight. I repeated it several times. He kept mispronouncing it, and jumbling words. Finally, he asked, “How’s that spelled?” I just stared at him, then pointed to my incriminating ball cap (I told you to remember that key piece of evidence against me), still perched on my head. At that point, even the cops started laughing at him.

“Oh.” The FBI obviously has a maximum IQ requirement for its agents. He proceeded to copy the company name from my cap, glancing up at the cap for each individual letter, which he carefully wrote, one at a time- one glance, one character.

Then he wanted to know who I lived with. “Nobody,” I told him.

He frowned. “Nobody?”

“Right. Nobody. I live alone.”

“Huh?” He looked confused.

We went around that for awhile; I can only assume that living alone violates some feddie law or reg.

Eventually, they let me go. After questioning me for the better part of an hour. But none of the questions ever related to any robbery. Other than the stupid question of whether I had robbed any banks lately, I was never asked anything that would properly pertain to a robbery investigation. Maybe some day, I will finally find out what this was really about.

But I was publicly embarrassed by being accosted, questioned, and photographed in Kiener Plaza. I was definitely inconvenienced. And seriously pissed off.

But I never received an explanation or apology. Only the FBI agent ever gave his name. Of the uniformed officers, only two wore name tags. I made a note of those: Cox and Rozier.

Taking this as an example of the skill and professionalism of the Saint Louis police and the Federal Bureau of Investigation, I can only assume that the real bank robber (if there was one) can continue about his business in perfect safety.

And they wonder why they get no respect…


And for the record, some 21 years later, I have never found out what the hell that was all about.

UPDATED 2: BuzzFeed’s Montgomery is either a master of parody, or

[Update 2: scroll down for emails.]

…he drank all the koolaid.

Pikeville, Kentucky, Is Bracing For A Clash Between The Far Left And The Far Right
A white supremacist rally set for Saturday, and the expected left-wing response, has the town of Pikeville, Kentucky, population 7,038, under lockdown in anticipation of violence.

The rally, organized by Neo-Nazi groups National Socialist Movement, the Traditionalist Workers Party, and the National Front is scheduled for 2 p.m. ET Saturday. Left-wing groups from across the South are assembling a militant response.

Both the Far Left and the Far Right have issued calls online to gather in Pikeville and oppose the enemy with force.

psst-, Blake. National Socialists and the Workers Party aren’t exactly right-wing. This is — potentially; reports so far look like the town has successfully clued the folks in to behave — a clash between leftists who simply disagree on who gets to run your life.

And that “Laguna Beach Antifa” tweet? You probably should have checked out the account before using that example. Update: I mailed Montgomery 4/29/2017 at 11:42 AM. As of 12:48 PM, the column has been edited to remove that tweet. No acknowledgement of the edit listed on the page.)

For stuff like this:

And this: “…the protest in Pikeville is symbolic because it will be one of the first major confrontations in the South, a place where extremist groups like the KKK have long held sway…”

Seriously? Have you ever been to the South? It doesn’t look like you’re anywhere near old enough to remember when the KKK was more than a couple of old fat guys sitting around the local diner whining for the “good old days.”

UPDATE 2: I heard from Montgomery about an hour ago.

“Hi Bear,
Thanks for the correction. I’ve removed the tweet. Regarding Pikeville as a symbol, the Antifa I spoke to said those were the reasons they were going.”

Yep. He simply pulled the embarrassing tweet in hopes that no one else will notice. Regarding his blind acceptance of the peculiar claim that the KKK holds sway over the South, I replied:

Ah, yes. Professional protester Lacy Macauley from Washington, DC. Tell me, if you interviewed someone who said they were protesting climate change because the sky is neon orange with green polka dots, would you simply accept that statement without question?

Oh well, columns like yours that characterize clashes between  socialists and …. socialists as left vs. right are always amusing.

Bear

Perhaps Montgomery considers DC representative of the South. Only in the way that The Peoples Republik of Kalifornia and Wyoming are both Western. Still… if DC is “Southern,” and Macauley is thus a Southerner, shouldn’t he have expected her to be pro-KKK?

I’m afraid he’s merely a typical lefty “journalist” with no critical thinking or analytical skills, and happy in his progressive cognitive bias. It can’t even occur to him to question everything.

Please don’t vote, part 4

6th District vote: Fulton seeks to extend polling hours; DeKalb and Cobb smooth
Exasperated voters arrived at their typical polling locations only to find them empty. The cause? They’re in the 11th, or 5th, or 4th districts, none of which are on the ballot Tuesday.

Note that this is after a press release was issued explaining that this is only for residents of the 6th district.

No word whether Dimwit candidate Ossoff was one of those turned away.

Please don’t vote

You’re too freaking stupid.

Georgia special election is a Rorschach test for the Trump era
There stands Adriane Cooper, a Sandy Springs teacher wielding a “Vote Your Ossoff” placard and a chip on her shoulder from Donald Trump’s presidential win. She was drawn like a magnet to the Democratic newcomer who has put Tuesday’s special election to represent a swath of suburban Atlanta at the scorching center of the nation’s political debate.

This is the first time I’ve been old enough to vote against the people in charge, the people I don’t agree with,” the 25-year-old said. “And this is my way to channel that energy.” (emphasis added-cb)

You’re 25 years old, you moron. You’ve been old enough to vote since 2010. You’ve missed two general election cycles, two mid-term cycles, and who knows how special and local elections. If you meant this is the first time you vote against folks specifically “in charge” and with whom you disagree…

Your former Representative was Republican. Since you’re touting a Dem, I expect you probably would have disagreed with him. You were old enough to vote against him. You district has historically gone Republican; did you just this year suddenly turn Dim?

Don’t vote. You are either too damned ignorant, or too crazy.

No, it isn’t an assault rifle

But I wish I got misdeliveries like that. Heck, I don’t even find guns in the street

rifle

UPS Mistakenly Delivers Assault Rifle To LI Couple Instead Of Toy Plane
A Long Island couple was shocked to find an assault rifle delivered to their house — when in fact, they ordered a toy.

First, an assault rifle is a shoulder-fired long gun, chambered for an intermediate power cartridge, capable of selective fire (semi & auto).

That appears to be a Barret Model 95. (If I’m wrong, let me know.)

us-barret-model-95-bullpup

It’s a bolt action rifle. So it isn’t even capable of semi-automatic operation, much less full auto. And it’s chambered in .50 BMG which isn’t exactly “intermediate power.”

An assault rifle, it ain’t. But it’s black, so I suppose it’s evil in NY.