I do not think that means what you think it means.

Police finding ‘uncommon’ drugs in Gainesville
Kratom is relatively new to the US. It’s used in Asia as an anti-diarrheal medicine but has been increasingly used recreationally. Side effects include severe and prolonged vomiting, constipation, delusions, respiratory depression, tremors, aggressive or combative behavior, psychotic episodes, hallucinations and paranoia.

I guess I haven’t encountered that because people who think vomiting, constipation, delusions, trouble breathing, and paranoia are fun aren’t the sort of folks I want to hang with.

Mr. Burson is now seeking employment with someone who has never heard of the Internet

Starbucks barista has complete meltdown over new Unicorn Frappuccino
A Starbucks barista has taken to social media hoping to make orders for the coffee chain’s much buzzed about Unicorn Frappuccino disappear.

Job tip: Don’t bitch to the entire world about your employer’s popular product because it’s too much work for you.

Worst day of his life. Sticky hands. Never worked so hard. So stressed.

Try setting up a radar-homing missile navigation beacon in a war zone. And hunkering down when you hear missiles have launched. Try digging eleven miles of ditches in the desert. And I’ve washed off worst things than sugary syrup from my hands. Things that called for soap, then bleach, then hydrogen peroxide, then alcohol. Engine grime is nothing. Sugar?

Stress? Deal with multiple death threats from convicted violent felons.

Suck it up, buttercup.

At this point, Burson’s best bet for re-employment is to claim ADA protection because he’s a mentally under-developed idiot.

The video is here, too (F******k).

Funny how that happens

On one of those house fixer-upper shows, a couple was showing off the house they renovated. There’s a scene in which the narrator speaks of the couple adjusting to “country life” as the young idiots dump feed corn into a feeder for the deer.

Not sure what state they’re ion, so maybe they weren’t breaking wildlife laws.

But just a couple of minutes later wifey is lamenting the loss of her brand new, beautiful, ultimate bouquet: her fancy flower bed. Seems — for some odd and incomprehensible reason — the deer she baited in ate her garden.

As if gas cans didn’t work poorly enough already

Can an “easy fix” curb dangers of containers holding flammable fuel?
A proposed bill in Congress aims to cut the number of Americans burned in so-called “flame jetting” incidents, when a container holding flammable fuel can become something akin to a flamethrower. The injuries can be devastating.

This happens with flammable liquids, like the gasoline you use for your lawn mower, fireplace fuels, liquor and even nail polish remover. Advocates say all of those could put you at risk and are missing what they say is a needed safety measure, reports CBS News correspondent Anna Werner.

Aubrey Clark was 17 when a 2011 gasoline accident changed her life and lost her her voice. She was at a friend’s house for her birthday party with a few friends when one friend got near an outdoor fire with a gasoline can. Clark was some 10 feet away but said flames shot out of the can.

I’ve got an easy fix for that: Don’t put gas cans near fires.

This article doesn’t have any statistics on how often this happens, but I wonder… Care to bet whether this started peaking after 2009, when the idiot feds mandated vapor recovery/anti-spill gas cans? The ones that don’t work (and which sparked a retrofit industry)? See, a decent gas can had a vent and plain nozzle; if vaopr pressure built up — say, from heat — the vapors would simply escape. And expanding vapors cool, minimizing the chance that they’d ignite. If it did ignite, pressure would be too low for much of a jet.

These new “improved” cans won’t let vapors easily vent off. So pressure builds. And builds. And get hotter. Until the vapor reaches ignition point and shoots out.

Thanks, EPA. And rather than admit they fucked up, they’re going to add yet another gadget to cans to further restrict flow. And very likely restrict venting even more, so that cans will simply exploded.

Oh, that’ll be much better.

RoundUp: how to do it wrong

So there’s this — Californian — woman suing Monsanto over RoundUp giving her cancer.

Lawsuit accuses Monsanto of manipulating research to hide Roundup dangers
Mendoza blames glyphosate, the main chemical ingredient in the weed killer Roundup, which she used on her lawn every weekend.

Every. Weekend.

Yeah; with that level of exposure, pretty much any weed killer could have negative effects. I have a little professional experience with weed killers. You know how often I applied it to my sites?

Once. (Per year, that is.)

You know often Monsanto says to use it?

ONCE. And you can find that same one-time application advice on plenty of non-Monsanto web sites (I did).

Maybe this woman should have used the product in accordance with the instructions, instead of some 52 times the recommended amount.

Sitting on the sidelines, watching the show

I didn’t vote for Clinton, Trump, Johnson or any of the other excuses for… well, there’s no excuse for ’em. But I went with the Extinction Level Event. Possibly my candidate is winning, albeit a little after the fact.

Residents of the Lefty disreality bubble UC Berkeley are smashing and burning their own “safe space” to protest…

A gay foreign transvestite.

Alleged comedienne Silverman (decorative, but has she ever been humorous in public?) and a former Obama staffer are calling for a thoroughly unconstitutional military coup to oust the duly elected President.

Delaware prison inmates (probably repeat Chicago voters) are rioting and killing to protest Trump.

The lefty world is going insane over an immigration executive order that may actually be the first outright legal and constitutional thing an American President has done in years.*

North Dakota Sioux, protesting the as-yet nonexistent extension to the extensive oil pipeline system, are trying to evict their co-protestors from their reservation. So far unsuccessfully.

Yeah. Those pipeline protestors. The consciencous environmentalists.

More popcorn!

* I admit it; given what I expected of Trump, “legal and constitutional” surprised the hell out of me.