Duke Nukem’s Campaign: Theories

I’ve gone through a few theories about Eric “Douche Nukem” Swalwell’s presidential campaign. We’re talking about a guy who “jokingly” threatened to use nukes on anyone who resisted his unconstitutional plans before he even declared.

Every election cycle sees no-chance-in-hell candidates. Some do it for the visibility for other political plans. So kinda hope they have a chance, then drop out when they never get out of the single digits in polls.

Others are in it strictly for the campaign donations. This was my original theory about Nukie. Run a campaign. Get national donations from folks who don’t yet realize what a nutcase he is. Pack up, go home. Spend that campaign money on his next congressional election.

Swalwell’s Cunning Plan

I’ve been going through presidential delusionist Eric “Duke Nukem” Swalwell’s A National Framework to End Gun Violence. This is the plan he presented yesterday to his almost-dozens of confused supporters.

It’s a rambling mess, intermixing gun control with various sorts of social engineering. I’m focusing on the anti-2A stuff here; the social engineering may call for another column, but only after a good, stiff drink.

The gun control take-away is:

• Duke Nukem has confirmed — again — that he really is dumber than a box of rocks.
• He knows virtually nothing about firearms or law.
• This is the Green Raw Deal of victim disarmament.

Feel free to stop reading now. But if you are interested in Dukie’s brilliant plan, here goes.