I used to refer to stuff as dumber than a box of rocks

No more.

Yes, it was pretty stupid when the one Pennsylvania school district decided to arm teachers with a box of rocks. But Millcreek School District is going to “arm” its teachers with baseball bats.

Pardon me: Little Louisville Sluggers.

Locked up sluggers.

“Stop! Or I shall unlock this safe box!”

“Stop! Or I shall… ding you.”



Oh well.

Dear Bog, they found something dumber’n a box of rocks. What the… the… frack is wrong with Pennsylvania? Is it the water? Proximity to DC? Alien mind control rays?

Of course, we can’t “arm” teachers with evil guns, because they don’t have the same training as cops.

1. No sane person on the RKBA side is talking about “arming” teachers with guns. We’re talking about allowing people who’ve already met the requirements to be armed in public continue to do so in public schools.

2. The firearms training requirements for teachers and cops differ for the same reason that driving requirements differ: Teachers aren’t cops. They aren’t supposed to go out hunting for a shooter with the intent of engaging her. We simply expect them to defend themselves — and the children entrusted to them already — if the shooter comes for them. You want to know how that works? Check out the 16-17 million licensed concealed carriers who also aren’t hunting down bad guys like a bad cop show.

If 16-17 million CCW folks were doing that, you’d have noticed the spike of millions of shooting deaths already. (On the other hand, crime rates would immediately plummet due to a severe lack of criminals.)

Tell ya what: New Law: No person shall bring an automobile onto school property unless they have successfully completed the federal Law Enforcement Driver Instructor Training Program, or equivalent; 10 days of classroom and behind the wheel training in pursuit, emergency vehicle operation, and all the rest. Never mind that teachers aren’t supposed to jump in their cars and pursue shooters and execute controlled rams to drive them off the road.

Fuck it. Dumbasses want all concealed carriers to meet police standards, so in the spirit of “let’s legislate guns like cars,” everyone has to go to FLETC before they can get a driver’s license.

3. Why the hell are parents putting their kids into classrooms run by teachers whom they think will kill their children if given half a chance?