Names: One down

One to go.

UP CLOSE:
What’s in a name?

The renaming of Calhoun College closed a debate that turns on the legacy of American slavery, the complexities of race and representation in America and, above all, the chilling power of a name like that of John C. Calhoun, class of 1804.

Hmm… Wikipedia says that Elihu Yale, the university’s namesake was a slaver trader. Time to change that name, too. I suggest “Trigglypuff Memorial Safe Space.”

Yeah, “memorial.” With that weight and anger management problem, it’s only a matter of time. It’s a toss-up whether heart failure or stroke will do the job first.

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Whatzit Womyn

Nicki tears “feminists” a new [gender-neutral, biologically nonspecific orifice]. This time, she was…. ahem, triggered by morons… triggered by the fact that the latest Wonder Woman is attractive and shaves her arm pits.

I know! Let’s do a Kickstarter project to fund a version of Wonder Woman in which the heroine is a hairy lesbian from a culture that predates soap. This version of WW will disdain cis-male constructs like binary evil/good. Ze will only dispense justice as decided by consensus. Ze will actually be forced into such a role because zirs culture is 100% vegan, resulting in neural under-development in all the offspring. (A prequel can explain how these hirsute cavewomyn even have offspring.)

Hmm… and since we want to avoid stereotypes of beauty imposed by outdated notions like “health,” “child-bearing capacity,” or just plain evil cis-male lust, we absolutely must cast exactly the right person in the role of Whatzit Womyn.

Trigglypuff.

I admit, this will raise the funding requirements substantially, to purchase enough food to maintain that bulk. On the other hand, this greatly expands the possibilities for fat-shaming supervillains.

Then we start a betting pool on how long it takes to get sufficient donations for more than a 50 page flipbook animation.

Hollyweird is slipping

Sic ’em, Social Justice Howler Monkeys!

Upon awakening and checking news, I was involuntarily exposed to the… news irrelevant factoid that La La Land (which I’ve never seen) did not win the Oscars Politically Correct Yet Ostentatiously Gold-plated Androgynous Humanoid Figurine Best Picture award. Turns out it was won by Moonlight, a film which not only have I never seem, but never even heard of until yesterday afternoon. So I braced my self and looked it up.

As best I can tell, Moonlight is the glorification of underage gay black sex, the best and only kind the main character has ever had. I wish I were kidding.

But how dare they not make the heroheroineprotagonist a transgendered transracial Neutrois? Aren’t they supposed to be all politically correctly inclusive and diverse now?

Wait… Isn’t “Oscar” a traditionally white cis-male name in the oppressive white male culture?

You let me know how that works out for ya, honey

Comes the revolution

katy-perry-rev

Oh, yeah. That’ll go well.

open-carry

Assuming anyone is SJStupid enough to initiate a revolution, which group do you suppose will be better prepared?

25th-desert-storm

safe-space-campus-protest-r

Do these snowflakes realize they’re calling out the “Super Owners”?

There’s a reason violent protests tend to happen here….

ferguson-protest-oakland-750x400

…and not here.*

st-marys-blm


* That was amusing. When the BLM march was announced — along with the planned route — I correctly predicted the quietest, most peaceful BLM protest evah. Or the shortest. They chose wisely.

Culturally Appropriate

gender-pronouns

On the bright side of “cultural appropriation,” when some psychologically disturbed clown demands that I use his made-up pronouns for whatever imaginary gender, I can smile and say, “Oh, don’t worry; I would never do that. Adopting your pronouns in lieu of those standard American English pronouns of my culture would be to appropriate yours. I’m far too polite.”

Cultural Appropriation

mf-cultural appropriation

Eeek! Cultural appropriation! I’ve been microaggressed!

Hoooowl!

Oh. Wait.

It’s OK when they do it to us.*

Which is why, I suppose, that duck gets to appropriate Western human culture.


* It is OK with me. The only thing about St. Patrick’s Day that bugs me is the incessant, “Why aren’t you wearing green?” I think my new answer is going to be, “Because I’m an independent libertarian,” and watch them scratch their heads over that.